Doubts
by ProfessorCactustheThird
Summary: Because there had better be a good reason for Happy having Quincy's damn book


_I was just very annoyed at the whole book thing and then conveniently leaving it behind in the South Pole, so this came out_

* * *

"Ralph!"

Happy almost dropped her hammer at how loud Toby greeted the young genius, jumping over his desk to take him to Ferret Bueller's cage and show him some tricks the ferret had learned. Or something to that effect.

She didn't care too much about what was being to Ralph at that moment, her mind instead being on what _hadn't_ been said between herself and Toby.

Something should have been done on Christmas at that beach, she knew, but the mixture of cold sea air and slightly undercooked sausages didn't sit well with their youngest member and Toby had become otherwise occupied.

She was slightly disappointed that nothing further had come out of their kiss that day, but another part of her couldn't help but feel slightly relieved. There was something bugging at her still, and against all her instincts, she went out and called someone she had never thought to see again.

* * *

"Happy, can't say I expected to hear from you again but please," he motioned for her to sit.

She walked in somewhat stiffly, feeling as if she were back in high school and being called into the principal's office. _You're being irrational,_ she chided herself, _you asked for this, why are you acting like it's some death trap?_

Maybe because on some level deep down, she knew that if she couldn't bear what she was going to hear, or if he didn't keep his promise about keeping this under wraps, it might very well be one.

Quincy leaned forward on his desk, hands clasped under his chin, and for a brief moment Happy wondered if that pose was ingrained in them during their clinical psych specialization.

"As much as it pains me to say this," he almost sighed, "you work with the best psychiatrist, quite possibly in the world. Why would you need to come to me?"

Happy steeled herself, staring back at him with as little emotion as she could betray. "Because you of all people should know that he is the worst person to talk to about him."

"Wha- what?"

"I need you to tell me about him."

Quincy blinked. "Your undercover case was the first time we had spoken in almost two years, and even then we were _hardly_ best friends."

"Exactly."

He stared at her blankly and she sighed. "Before Cabe brought us into Homeland, the team barely spent time together outside of work. The things you said about him the other day, none of us knew any of that before. And so, uh, if there's anything else, I need you to tell me."

"You like him, don't you? And it's obvious he likes you too. But you're scared to take it any further because of his past, and so you're trying to learn as much as you can about him before you make any decision."

Happy pursed her lips, annoyed at how easily even Quincy could read through her, but nodded nonetheless. "He's become calmer in the past few months but you never know with him, you know?" She couldn't believe how easily she was opening up to him, but something about the balance between their personal distance but topical familiarity seemed to work.

"I could tell he has changed too, definitely for the better. Just him walking away after all I said that day, that alone speaks volumes."

"I know about him _now_ , I need to know how he was earlier," she paused and her voice dropped. "Especially in relationships."

He looked at her somewhat apologetically. "I didn't realize you guys had earpieces that day."

"He had already kind of messed up a few months back," she downplayed her emotions about that failed date, Toby didn't deserve his rival having so much dirt on him. "But yeah, hearing what you said… It was important and I'm glad I learnt about it, but it didn't really help my overthinking."

"You're like him though, that should make it easier."

"You mean being a genius too?" Happy couldn't help but scoff. "You have no idea how it works, do you? We're twice as messed up. Paige and Cabe try to help, sure, but still…"

"Didn't look too messed up the night you guys solved the case," Quincy smirked knowingly and Happy froze.

" _What?_ "

"All I'm saying is that the psych department has pretty big windows that overlook the courtyard." The smirk remained plastered on his face as he leaned back on his chair, and Happy didn't know whether to kill him or die herself. Or maybe both.

He seemed to notice how she had stiffened, and thankfully got back to the more serious topic at hand. "Look, with Amy you could tell he was desperate. He had been ostracized for years in school and I think he had a lot of problems with his parents, right?" Happy nodded slowly and he continued.

"That was his first chance to fit in with, as you guys call us, 'normals' and he was willing to do anything to get there. But naturally, the stress of everything was too much and… I'm sure you know what happens when it gets too much for him."

Happy looked away, memories flashing to mind of how it had been, in the years before Scorpion became what it is today. Toby would go off the deep end, and it took everything Walt, Sly and she had to reel him back in. And then something new would happen- with Amy or Collins or whatever- that set him off, and the whole cycle would repeat itself all over.

"Whatever I mentioned that day, that was him at his worst and lowest." Quincy continued, not too sure if she was even still with him, "He's really a good guy, he genuinely wants to help people- be there for others in the way no one was there for him, I guess. It's one of his biggest strengths, but also one of his biggest weaknesses. If something goes wrong with the plan, he doesn't know how to handle it. The thing with me and Amy is the first and only time I've seen him blame someone else completely. Usually he just hurts himself instead."

Happy bowed her head slightly as she recalled how- between the insistence on being 'just friends' and the independence streaks and his desperate attempts to distance himself as much as cases allowed- he had seemed to be punishing himself for her irrational behavior the past few months.

She remembered walking into the garage, the day Paige and Ralph's train almost derailed, to Toby being lucky he wasn't half-blind, with Sylvester pressing his liquid nitrogen sponge to the Doc's eye. She remembered hearing (they should all have realized by now how much the garage amplifies and echoes even the softest sound) Cabe and Sly not-so-gently pressuring him to let her go, something about the five stages of Kübler-Ross. She remembered being so thankful to Cabe for teaching him boxing because at least he only had a black eye and a bruised ego, and they weren't finding his beaten up body behind some back alley gambling den.

She remembered knowing it was all her fault.

Quincy watched her silently, letting her process everything, before eventually speaking up again. "I won't insult any of us by pretending to know you, or anything that happened between the two of you. Hell, I hardly even saw you two interact during the case except for when you brought those kids in and the, uhm, after the case. But I will tell you this."

Happy finally looked up at him again.

"I might have been tied up and drenched, but I still saw the way he acted around you and let me tell you this- I've never seen him so self-restrained. The guy I knew years back, especially since he's attracted to you, would've never stopped passing remarks- if you'd excuse me saying this- about you in that Winter Rush get up."

Happy stared at him, hard, before the rest of his words filtered through her and her gaze dropped to the wood grain of the table. Quincy was right, she knew. Last year, she hadn't been able to climb through Cabe's old window without him making a comment in front of the whole team. But this year, during the college case and all the times they had gotten themselves half-drowned, and even throughout the whole nonsense that was Kazakhstan, he'd hardly said a word in tease.

"He clearly adores you, and with that adoration comes an almost reverent respect that he hardly gave Amy even when they were engaged."

"Really?" Happy hated how hopeful she sounded, like a high schooler being told that her crush likes her back, but somehow her usual stoic voice failed her.

Quincy nodded at her, his expression encouraging. "I'm so sorry, I have a class in half an hour that I need to rush to, but let me just end with this- I don't know how long your push-pull dynamic has been going on for, but Toby can get heartbroken quite easily. If you care about him too, I suggest to say and do something. Don't leave him in limbo, because we might be the furthest things from friends but he's in the best place I've seen him yet, and even I don't want to see him start self-destructing again."

Happy blinked at him, exhaling heavily almost as if the full weight of his words settling on her heart had pushed the air out of her lungs. She stood up, thanking him but somehow knowing that she didn't need to threaten him to keep this meeting a secret.

"If you ever need anything else just ask. Oh, and Happy?" He called out after her and she turned back. "Have you read my book?"

* * *

Hope you liked it! Reviews make my day, if you can spare a moment (:

Much love!


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